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Words Google Hates or How Google Shows it Sex Negativity

June 8, 2012

This week’s Word of the Week is Lemon Party and about 100 others.

In my other life I run an Etsy shop.  Much time spent labeling products so that they get Google attention.  I found this fascinating list of Google Blacklist Words.    At the bottom of the list is another list of words that Google does not blacklist.  Strange that ‘gay man’ is blocked but ‘dismembered’ in not.  Strange that bdsm is blocked but s and m is not.

There is something wrong that ‘Carol Queen’ is blacklisted.

Google Blacklist Words
(the capital letter indicates where the blacklist kicks in)

2g1c (blacklists on the “1”) [thanks bored]
4chan (blacklists if a “B” or “Y” is entered after a space) (UPDATE: “4chan Y” no longer is blacklisted) [thanks Sasa]
a2m (blacklists after space) [thanks nic]
acrotOmophilia (the things you can learn from this list!) [thanks Anonymous Entity]
adUlt (seriously!) [thanks bored]
amaTeur [thanks Bill]
anal (blacklists after a space)
anilinGus [thanks Bill]
anuS (there really seems to be more blacklisting in this part of the anatomy than anywhere else)
are (this is a VERY interesting one. if you stick “are” after the following words, the blacklist kicks in: jews, christians, catholics born-again christians, evangelical christians, atheists, muslims, blacks, whites, italians, mexicans, chinese, japanese, germans, arabs, french, buddhists. the blacklist does NOT kick in when these words are entered before “are”: terrorists, scientologists, agnostics, seventh day adventists, jehovah’s witnesses, mormons, protestants, evangelists, pentecostalists, columbians, panamanians, iranians, iraqis, koreans, persians, turks.) [thanks Matt]
are idiotS (most any word before this phrase will generate a blacklist – this is really protecting us from ANY sort of negativity)
arseHole [thanks Badspyro]
aryaN (it’s not JUST a racist movement, Google – go read Wikipedia)
asian baBe [thanks nic]
ass (blacklists after a space – you will thus see nothing for “ass monkey”)
assHole (OK to say on network TV but not here)
assmUnch (you can even say this one in church)
auto eRotic [thanks bored]
autoerotiC [thanks Bill]
babeS in toyland (thank you Google for sheltering us from the 1961 film classic)
babelAnd [thanks thepleasurechest.com]
baby battEr [thanks bored]
ball GravY (who comes up with these?) [thanks John]
ball SaCk [thanks xcitor]
ball gaG [thanks EricaHart]
ball kiCking (goodbye football) [thanks EricaHart]
ball liCking [thanks EricaHart]
ball sUcking [thanks EricaHart]
bangBros [thanks Anonymous Entity]
barebAck [thanks Bill]
barely Legal [thanks Bill]
barenAked ladies (let this be a warning when picking offensive band names) [thanks Chris]
bastardO (yet bastard is OK) [thanks Eric]
bastinAdo [thanks Jennifer]
bbW [thanks EricaHart] Read more…

My Penis is in the Peanut Butter- a Masturbation Story

May 7, 2012

In continuation of National Masturbation Month, I would like to share this with you.

Because I am fascinated by people, I like to peruse Craigslist. Its amazing me -the things people post. I am partial to the Missed Connections (I have found that Spokane, WA has the best Missed Connections both on Craigslist and in their local papers. Strange people live there.) I have a collection of clippings (both literal and copy/pastes) of the best missed connections. The following is from Craigslist and is honored by being in the the Best of Craigslist category. It will make you look at food in a whole new way.

But please, if you are going to have sex with fruit or vegetables or anything else in your refrigerator, please don’t cook it up and serve it to your family. That’s just weird. Buy two cucumbers, one for you and one for the tzatziki sauce.

“No More Sex With Fruit

It all started when I started dating this women whom I was crazy for. I had been in love with her since high school. From time to time she would want me to stick a banana in her before sex to get her in the mood. At first it was awkward. It eventually got to a point where I too was also having sex with fruit as a kind of foreplay. Don’t judge me. I was head over heels for this woman and would do anything to make her happy. I never let her know in the beginning I was a little annoyed (and jealous) that a banana was penetraiting her wet vagina. Then I also never told her in the beginning how odd and freaky I felt the first time I stuck my penis into a orange. Although I did like her licking off the juice afterwards. I also never told her after countless times bring fruit into our bedroom that I started to like it. And that I sometime had sex with fruit while she was away at work. So that time you got upset that the last apple was missing, Jeffery really didn’t come over to visit and ate it. I had sex with it. 

Then one day she left me. That’s when I grew into a deep depression. However that depression did not stop me from continuing to have sex with fruit. I was completely satisfied, even in my depressed state. If you cut the correct size hole into anything, it could be magical. When I ejaculated I of course would throw it away. But there was one time or two the sex was so amazing I kept it around for another go-round. Then came the day when I got over the evil women who had broke my heart. I started to hate everything about her. Which brought me to a point where my I started to doubt weather or not I should continue to enjoy having sex with fruit since she introduced me to it. 

Around that time I was very confused on what I should do next I happened to see the evil wench. I happened to be on a different side of town and needed to run to the store for some fruit rollups (ironic I know) for my neice’s lunch the next day. I strolled into the grocery store like nothing. I was just about to make a comment inside my head how ghetto the store was when I saw her. I had heard rumors that she had moved on and was seeing someone. But this time she was solo. I pretended I did not see her but it was too late. She spotted me. DAMN! I knew I should have gone to another checkout lane. I said hello and he had a forced short conversation. I could not help but notice THE FUCKING FRUIT SHE WAS BUYING! You fucking cunt, like I am not supposed to know what those bananas, apples, oranges were for? 

I was pissed. I decided no more sex with fruit. That was the final straw. Fuck that bitch and her kinky sexual outlets. 

That lasted all but a few days but then I began to get horney. NO! I couldn’t do it. I toss all the fruit out my window. I WAS DONE! I had never paid for sex and wasn;t exactly sure how to go about doing that without getting caught so that was out of the question. I need stimulation! I needed something! Then as a spontanious desperate act I slammed my penis into the peanut butter. The soft sticky goo made me melt inside. What was this utopia of sexual pleasure that I had discovered? I did not know what was more pleasing. The sex with the peanut butter jar or having the dog lick it off afterwards. 

So to my ex…. fuck you. I am over you and over sex with fruit. I have moved on myself. To a new avenue of pleasure. And it doesn’t involve anything you ever taught me. “

 

There you have it, dear readers. Enjoy Masturbation Month (in the Kitchen)!

Source:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sat/1573195432.html

Merry Masturbation Month

May 5, 2012

How to Masturbate

The month of May is Masturbation Month! Time to beat the meat! Many of us grow up masturbating quickly and quietly and with much shame. We learn bad ways of getting off. In honor of Masturbation Month, this is a guide on how to flick the bean or grease the pole. Masturbation, like most other things, is about practice.

Practicing masturbation leads not only to better solo sex but also to better two (or more) person sex. Learn to go slowly. The bad habit of cumming quickly before your mom or your little sister realizes your locked in the bedroom must stop. This only exacerbates issues like summing too quickly. Take it slow. By bringing yourself to the end of orgasm and then backing off, you can learn to control your body better and last longer in bed.

Practice in various positons and methods. Many people only learn to jerk off in one way – dry humping the couch, sticking it between the mattress, on their stomach. You are doing yourself no favors. The sensations the mattress brings you are nothing like another person. While there is nothing wrong with any method, variation allows your bits to be more use to change in sensations. It also means that your body may adapt, becoming more use to change in positions and more able to last longer in each pose.

Practice masturbating with a condom. If you have a penis and the form of birthcontrol you use is condoms, get your dick used to the feeling of a condom. It will not feel so strange and awkward when you use them with another person. If you have a vagina, try masturbating with a female condom. Learn how it feels and how to enhance pleasure while using it.

We spend lots of time preparing to have sex. We get dressed, shave, spend money, and make our beds. We often prepare a place to have sex, complete with mood lighting and music. Why not give yourself the same respect. Create an environment where you feel safe to explore yourself. Make a place where you feel sexy. When having solo sex, make it special ever once in a while. Don’t just rub on off. Show yourself a good time.

Make masturbating an adventure. Go exploring. Learn the topography of your body. Learn what you like and dont like. Use your imagination. Fantasize, read erotica, or watch porn. Expand your sexual horizons. Leave behind the shame an guilt society places on sexuality and enjoy what you enjoy. Give yourself permission to enjoy pleasure.

Come back for more thoughts of masturbation and enjoy yourself!

A Soldier against The War on Women

May 1, 2012

I have been so pissed off lately that it has left me speechless. I open a newspaper, listen to the news, check Twitter (shameful self plug- @sexualoperator) and I am confronted with an overwhelming number of attacks on human rights -especially women’s rights. I am horrified that we have found ourselves so much in the same position and in engaged in the same conversations that we fought over in the 1960s and 1970s. The parallels are disturbing. For a while, this has made me feel helpless and hopeless as we repeat ourselves. How horrifying that in America, often hailed as the best country on earth, does not give equal respect, privileges and power to all of its citizens! All Americans, not just the women, should be upset and demand change.

I apologize for my silence during this last month. My silence only gives the others power. Often people do nothing because they do not feel that their actions and opinions matter. Maybe they do or maybe they do not but certainly silence and inaction serves to empower oppressors.

 

My days of stunned silence are over. This is the part where I fight back. This is your fight too -whether you have a vagina or love someone with a vagina or cherish the idea of equal human rights.

 

Here are a few of many things you can do:

 

  • Replace the members of Congress who are pushing for and supporting laws which limit human rights by voting this fall.
  • Write to your senators and congresspeople and tell them of your opinions.
  • Knit a vagina. Governmentfreevjj.com is a organization which encourages women to knit or crochet a vagina and send them to sexist Congressional members. Its clever way of expressing how important and personal these issues are to you.
  • Talk to people, your friends and family, and rally support. This is no time to sit on our hands.
  • Go to http://unitewomen.org/unite/

 

 

Porn and Romance Novels As Sex Education

April 5, 2012

The argument is often made against porn by claiming that men develop unreasonable expectations and perspectives in regards to sex. Perhaps this is true, to a point, as viewers are unable to see the “magic tricks” that happen off-screen. On the other hand, most people in America do not have adequate comprehensive sex education. As a result, many people, whether consciously or otherwise, use porn to teach them about sex. Porn shows positions, function, attitudes, and gives permission to enjoy. While clearly an actual course on sex is preferable, one role which pornography plays in our society is that of teacher.

While Rick Santorum spews lies about the “wealth of research” proving the evils of pornography, an erotic book is taking over the shelves and Kindles or the world. Fifty Shades of Grey is the preoccupation among women. The pages are filled, not only with steamy sex, but also bondage and power play. Considered “mommy porn” and Not-Safe-For-Work, women, especially those who are married with children are using the secrecy of Kindles and the like to read about the firm body of Christian Grey.1 Turn this book into a movie (as they are in the process of doing) and you have a porno with a plot.

Heaving bosom and throbbing cock.

Both Fifty Shades of Grey and Up and Cummers are both pornographic fantasies. If those watching online porn learn about sex and relationships from those films then what are the readers of books like Fifty Shades of Grey learning? When talking about the early age at which boys start to watch porn (age 14 on average), there is often talk about how these boys are learning unrealistic ideas about what sex is. Around the same age, girls begin to read erotic romance novels. Repeated studies have shown that “adolescent girls were not able to separate fact from fantasy.”2 Porn and romance novels follow templates. Porn films have repeated sequence of actions and positions (blowjob, vaginal, anal, blowjob, money shot on the face). Romance novels are all based on the same general plot (love at first site/finding the soul mate, hero is horny while the heroine is shy, she learns to accept her desire for him, they face and overcome an obstacle proving that they are indeed soul mates (repeat as necessary), they make passionate love) We have all heard this plot repeated in novels and chick flicks and many believe that this script is based on reality. The girls who could not separate fact from fantasy “believed that they would eventually find their one true love if they adhered to the guidelines set forth in the stories they read.”

Listen to a few episodes of Dan Savage’s podcast and it wont be long before a distraught woman calls in wondering if she should dump her boyfriend because she found porn on his computer. The same woman most likely has a few romance novels on her book shelf. We all have our fantasies. We all have our releases. For most (if not all) men that comes in the form of online pornography. For women it comes in written erotica.

Lets stop demonizing men for watching porn when women are using their erotic imagination just as much. Let us then focus on providing other means of sexual education and appropriate expectations for sex and relationships. The problem is not porn and erotica. The problem is that porn and erotic have been forced into a role in our society for which they are not fit. It is the role of people, be that professionals, organizations, friends or parents, to teach (and be an example for) realistic expectations, appropriate treatment of people, and the role of sex. Porn is not to blame for the failures of our culture. Porn is only filling a role that we, as a culture, are to prudish to deal with.

 

 

 

 

Sources:

1http://www.nerve.com/news/books/womens-reading-lists-are-smuttier-than-ever-thanks-to-e-readers

2http://www.bc.edu/content/dam/files/schools/cas_sites/communication/pdf/thesis07.bun.pdf

http://www.ricksantorum.com/protecting-families-women-and-children-through-enforcement-federal-obscenity-laws

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100288781

More than Man and Woman: A Brief Discussion on the Diversity of Gender

March 24, 2012

Lady Gaga/ Stephanie Germonotta/ Jo Calderone plays with gender expression. Gradually, American culture is coming to accept and understand trans-sexual and trans-gendered people. Jo is helping.
(Photo Credit : http://www.mirror.co.uk)

Man and Woman. Mars and Venus. Out and In. Strong and feeble. In this culture, we are taught to believe that men and women are separate and opposite. In addition to being stark contrasts of each other, man and woman are the only two genders wholly recognized in Western culture. Ask the next person you cross paths with how many genders there are and you;d be likely to get the answer of two. Of course they would think that- the world reaffirms this notion daily. Everything from department stores being divided into the men’s section and the women’s section to a certain soda commercial claiming that this soda is not for women but only for men.

Though Andrej Pejic has a penis, they model high fashion men's and women's clothing.
(Photo Credit: http://blog.fayedinsmore.com/)

As with many things, the reality does not fit within the strict black and white perspective of our culture. In reality, there are not two genders. Gender is a creation of a culture. Our culture has decided what it means to be a man. To be a man one must have a penis, be able to grow a beard, drive a big truck (or at least want to), enjoy and be good at sex with women, not wear pink ect. Other cultures define men differently. Compare American men to, say, French men. So if gender definitions are unique to each cultures, so then is the number of genders acknowledged.

Two-Spirited People before a dance
(Photo Credit: From the film Two Spirits)

Many cultures recognize the existence of a gender that fits somewhere between man and woman. For Native Americans a person who is neither/both man and woman is called Two-Spirit. These people work as go-betweens for men and women (who, as we all know, have a hard time communicating). Two-Spirited people serve to bridge the gap and create harmony in the society. It is considered an honor to be Two-Spirited. Thailand has the most well-known third gender, what we call Ladyboys. Ladyboys are people who have (or once had) penises who live their lives as women.

A Thai Ladyboy (Photo Credit: transadvocate.com)

The number of genders in a culture is not limited. Some cultures, like the Indonesian culture of Sulawesi, have five genders each with specific roles in society. I have heard of cultures having room for nine genders.

Though considered neither man nor woman, India's Hijra dress like women.
(Photo Credit: gracjan.alkos.info/index.php?showimage=261&PHPSESSID=9e5b42fc94f88128771234d71a5b40d0)

The capacity for diversity in humans is astonishingly rich. This ought to be embraced and not feared. Breaking out of the dualistic mindset our culture encouraged allows for a much fuller understanding of humanity in general and our individual place within it.

 

Roberta Close is a famous Brazilian Travesti, a third gender expression. Ms. Close was featured on the cover of several Playboy magazines.

 

 

http://www.insideindonesia.org/edition-66-apr-jun-2001/sulawesi-s-fifth-gender-3007484

http://shewhoseeks.blogspot.com/2011/06/two-spirit-people.html

The Magical Disappearing Clitoris

March 21, 2012

While studying anatomy, a scientist in the 1500 named Colombo enlisted a woman to use as a model. He compared her features to those marked in older books on the human form.  This woman had the strangest “protuberance” between her legs. Just where the lips of the vulva started was a strange bump. The books he was studying showed no such bump.

Colombo investigated more women and found, low and behold, they all had this bump! What’s more, this bump swelled when touched. What a discovery! He documented his findings and took them to his Dean. He expected to he made a hero for having found a new body part. The Dean was horrified. He told Colombo to put away his studies and never think of the protuberance again. The next day, men came to arrest Colombo on charges of blasphemy and witchcraft, and Satanism. This scientist had found the clitoris and this was threatening to society. (1)  Imagine what would happen to society if women could enjoy sex! Gasp! And so the secret and shame about the clit remained. Fast-forward to the late 1990s and turn of the 2000s. Advancements allow us to see inside of the body and explore further this protuberant clitoris. It is not, as we long thought, just a bump but small part of a larger organ. (2)

 

This protuberance, we now know, is a jelly bean of nerve endings. Maybe it is more like a Red Hot. It contains over 4000 nerve ending, the highest concentration anywhere on the human body- male or female. (Lest the male get jealous, a penis also has about 4000 nerve ending but they are more spread out.) What the scientist did not previously know was how intricate the clitoris is. Not only does it exist on the outside of the body as a little bump but the clitoris continues internally! It is not just a dot of pleasure but an entire network.

(2)

The internal clitoris, like a penis, become erect when stimulated. It swells, making the vaginal opening constrict. An excited woman is a tighter woman!

The distinction between clitoral orgasm and vaginal orgasm becomes unnecessary when you realize that the clitoris encircles the vaginal canal. The sensation felt when something is inserted inside a vagina is in part a result of the clitoris.

All this is to say, when pleasuring a woman, remember that pleasure can be felt in many places. Knowing that this riverbed of pleasure nerves runs through her body should make pleasuring her easier and more fun.

 

 

 

  1. Sex at Dawn. Christopher Ryan and Cacild Jetha. Harper Perennial. Page 250-251
  2. The Museum of Sex. http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/
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