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Customizing the Condom Experience

January 3, 2012

There is something wrong with ill fitting condoms. Just as we measure the other parts of our body and buy the corresponding size of cloth as cover, we should also measure and cover our dicks. Even though one of the top-selling condoms is the extra-large Trojan Magnum, I know for a scientific fact that most men are just not that big.

Magnums are not as sexy as custom tailored condoms

If you wear a condom that is too big it can slip off and expose you to diseases and allow for sperm to slip out. If you wear a condom that is too small it can break. Even if it stays on and stays whole, it will not feel comfortable. While discomfort can be fun in the bedroom (like bondage or spanking), your cock should always be happy. It should not feel restricted or like its floating in a garbage bag. Fortunately, you can have condoms custom tailored to your dick at or here at . That is right, a condom just for you! For better sex in 2012, buy a condom that fits your junk.

Not only can you get a custom sized condom, you can design your own condom package or put an image on the condom itself. Here are a few douchey ideas.

  • Print a ruler on the side of the condom so that it reads that your dick is 12” long
  • On the wrapper put “For a good time call (555)-555-5555”
  • Leopard  print
  • Argyle 
  • Print a crown and cape on the condom with the crown around the head of the penis and the cape gracing the shaft
  • Print veins and shading on the condom so it makes the penis look bigger and veinier.


Do you, dear readers, have any other ideas?


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