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Sex Toys- Everyone’s Doin’ It. Even the Chimps!

December 20, 2011

Chimps are now known to have sex toys. They tear up leaves, piece by piece, flirtatiously ripping and tossing of chunks (maybe he is making a tossed salad!). A female chimp will see him doing this, notice how he delicately discards the leaf bits, and gets turned on. Like motorcycles remind human females of their vibrators (a personal theory, check back much latter for scientific evidence), the ripping noises remind the female chimps of, well, um, something sexy.

Then man discovered fire, found it romantic, and made a butt plug?

This makes me wonder, if chimps have sex toys, did our ancestors?  Neanderthals weren’t very inventive. They used just one tool, the hand axe, for a million years. Anthropologists say it was their Swiss Army knife used for all sorts of tasks. If you ask me, those hand axes doubled for anal plugs or maybe clitoral stimulators.

Neanderthal sex toys?

The experts also claim that Neanderthals also made jewelry. But look at their “jewelry”. I see a cock ring, several g-spot stimulating dildos, and that bottom row is just too obvious. Of course I am just wildly speculating. But if homo sapiens are making vibrators, and chimpanzees are making ripped leaves and dolphins rub themselves on the ocean floor, why wouldn’t our ancestors get their rocks off with, well, rocks!








Read the whole article on chimps and their sexy leaves here:





Images from Archeology News Network, and

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